Sunday Mass - Repentance

I woke up this morning n very intense pain, from my neck down to my ankles. My ankles and knee joints were very swollen, plus I was having pain spikes through the night, through most of the mass. Once Eucharist was done with,the pain spikes were gone, and the pain just the intense pain. I don't know what happened, but when I'm in such intense pain and getting massive pain spikes on a Sunday, once Eucharist is over with, the pain spikes are gone.

NOTE: Before 9:30am and before mass even started I was in intense pain and I thought that being at church would set off my usual flashbacks. Check sidebar for flashbacks in church.


What Happened in Church

Once mass started and I was sitting right up front, more than usual. Anyway, once Father George started mass off, I felt warm, glowing around me. Everyone just faded into the white cloud and disappeared. Even Troy faded away from my sight. Just out of nowhere I saw a white glowing figure coming towards me. Yes I usually see flashbacks, but this was not one of them. It was way different and I wasn't sure I wanted this person near me. I tried to get up and move, but my body was glued to the chair. I just couldn't move. Then this figure, ghost; put right hand on my head and took a hold of my left hand and smiled right at me.

I was no longer afraid. This being made me feel calm, loved and I felt love like I've never felt before in my life. I can't quite explain it, but I knew it was something strange. I even thought it was Satan or one of his followers, fallen angels. I started to remember what my stepfather would say to me. {One day you will be taken down to were you belong. To the depths of hell to rot and be in eternity damnation}. This was going through my head, I was afraid of being taken down to hell at this point. No voice or anything, came from this being.

"Listen to my child, you are my disciple, I will show you my world if you only listen to me". I thought I was going crazy and back to hearing voices in my head again that were meant to be there. "Listen to me, you are in my house. Accept me as your Savior, your Redeemer. Search your soul, your heart, your mind and listen with your whole being to my words." I looked to see if anyone else could see this being, hear this voice coming from the being. I was lost, I wanted out and to be able to run for my life, but I was glued to the spot.

Suddenly all my pain disappeared, I was shocked. This had never happened to me before EVER. I reached my right hand up to touch this being who hand their hand on my head. I reached, but all I could feel was warmth going in through my head and easing my pain slowly and I just heard the voice again. I thought  was going crazy. "Listen my child, you are mine. I knew you from the day you and Eion were conceived that you'd be my disciple. I knew that Thursday morning at 6:05am in Millstreet, County Cork, Ireland that you'd come to me and prepare a way for all to follow and be my disciples."

I thought I was going totally cuckoo and off my rocker at this point. Trying to fathom what was happening to me. I was wanted to scream out, for someone to get this being away from me. But each time I tried to scream, I couldn't talk. It was like my tongue was glued to the root of my mouth and I couldn't even open my lips to talk.It was as if they were glued together. My mouth was going dried than ever. I wanted water, to quench my thirst and get the dryness to be gone. But I just couldn't move and I couldn't talk so couldn't ask Troy to help me.

Trying to look around to signal someone to help me, but it looked like we were on a cloud and not in the church no more. This was way out of control and I wanted to get off this cloud and away from this being. I knew that it was something other than normal. Somehow I was feeling calm again.Was this person going to let me go I thought to myself.

Just then, I heard the voice again. "You are my disciple. You are my vessel. You are my Messenger to the people in Indiana, then in the world. You just have to let your mind, soul and heart listen to my words. You are my child from the day you were conceived and for all eternity." Now I felt like I was hearing this voice for a reason. I was no longer afraid. I was filled with love and happiness. Not sure how to explain this, but I felt whole, complete for the first time in my life.

"Listen child! I am your Savior, you God. Hear my words my child." I tried to look up at the face of this being, but his hand held my head firm and looking at the floor. Suddenly my mouth was no longer dry. It was moist and my tongue was able to move and so was my lips. Something was strange. I asked the being to tell me who he was. "I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Joseph, The God of David. This line from Adam to Me . I am God the Father, God the Son , God the Holy Spirit." Now these words echoed throughout my body.  then realised for the first time, I was being spoke to by God. I felt Honored, Glorified with his love. I was no longer afraid, I was happy, jolly and proud God had chosen me.

Just as he took his hand off my head, I felt all the intense pain rush back into my body. I was scared, felt alone and tried to reach out to Troy, but I noticed I was still on this cloud. "Believe me my child. Listen to my words. You are my chosen one." I tried to stand, but I couldn't get up, my legs were turning to jelly. Slowly I could feel myself moving, I was moving on the cloud. The being, I now know to be God. Smiled and waved me goodbye till I was back in church, sitting right next to Troy.

Deacon Kerry was reading the scripture from Luke. While the reading was being said, I could no longer hear God's voice. I listened to the reading. After I started to listen to father George's homily. The voice came back. I thought it was through with me, boy was I wrong. "Child, you need to know some important facts about your life. One you are and have always been close to my heart. I have watched you suffer, feel alone, unwanted and hurting every minute of your whole like this far. You needed to suffer, be in pain for a long time. While you suffered it made your heart cold and hardened. I wanted to to come to Indiana, to St Mark Catholic Church. You are going to be made an example to my people at St Mark and to everyone you come in contact with."

The voice stopped, I looked around everything was normal. The homily was over with.I was annoyed. I loved to listen to the homilies as they were the best thing in church and mass. "Listen, you don't need to hear what Father George is talking about. You are mine, you have always been mine since you were conceived in your mother's womb. You have to forgive yourself for your part in the demise of Maurice Riley. Forgive him for all he did to you. It was to strengthening you to be able to show others they can overcome many pains and still be my disciples. Do you understand?" I didn't know what to do or say. The pain in my back, knees were getting very intense and I was now getting pain spikes. worse than any I have ever hand. I said quietly in my mind, take these pain spikes and I will be your servant.

"Ask of me and you will receive." Then without fail the pain spikes were gone. I wanted to shout at the top of my voice that I had God in my life."You are not to shout out about what happened today. You write every time I come to you in your blog. It will be my tool to show your friends and foes that you are mine forever, from now to eternity. Accept ME into your life and let the world know you have faith and your writing will come in time." I nodded and said quietly I accept God into my life. "You will be my tool, my disciple. I will you you as my messenger to show everyone you are now whole in my name. Anyone who tries to hurt you will be taken down. They will know you are mine. Your foes will not die, but they will be shown you are with God and Christ. The Holy Spirit now lives in you. Show others you believe and they will follow you in example. Be blessed my child. You and Troy will start nightly scripture study and will come closer to me and he will know you are mine. He will follow you till the ends of the earth and be right by your side."

Just as he had spoken it was time to go get doughnuts. Troy helped me up and I walked into the shaffeur hall and sat down, while troy got me juice and doughnuts along with a piece of cake. I got Rebecca's email and I intend to let the girls know to read my blog and in hopes of them knowing I am now God's disciple and he is using me as his messenger in Indiana.

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