What does it mean to be a child of God?

To me, I have many thoughts on this subject. Throughout my whole life I have never been much of a believer till I arrived in Indiana. I was abused by most of my family, in more ways than one. Too many to say here. Anyway, back on subject. Sorry if I ramble on, it's just the craziness of being a Irish-Brit living in America. I moved to Indiana on 1st October 2005. I married my now husband, whom I love dearly. He was the one to show me that there were good Christians, good Catholics out there in this mixed up world we all live in.

After meeting my in-laws, for the first time I was shocked to see how nice, kind and caring they were. Troy's mom, told me I wasn't her daughter-in-law, I was her daughter. This shocked me to stand back in amazement. My family had never told me they loved me once in my life in Ireland and England. I can not recount my biological mother or father telling me they loved and was glad I was their child. But Troy's mom did. I was shocked and it gave me a good feeling. This feeling I tried so many time to block. I wasn't going to let this family tell me they loved me and then do what my family did to me. I pushed them away. I made damn sure I made it hard for them to love me. I didn't think I deserved to be loved at all.

During the coming years I found that my heart softened and I began to relive my life through their eyes. I learnt to listen to my MIL and the words she'd say to me each time we met. Over the last five years she has taught me that God is good, and believing in him was my only way of saving myself from the pits of hell. I began to learn that my MIL had many health issues that were similar to my own mother's health issues. I was shocked that this woman, went on with her life, not worrying or caring at all. She plodded on and in this she showed me how powerful God was in her life. I found myself letting her words touch my heart. I decided to do a course, called R.C.I.A.

During the R.C.I.A.  classes, which I dragged Troy to each Wednesday evening. I think he didn't like the fact I did this. But as I got to know the others in the R.C.I.A. classes. I began to ask questions, and now I still have nagging questions, but I am now a daughter in Christ. I believe that God spoke to me last weekend during mass, he told me what his purpose for me being in Indiana was. I believe I had to go through a lot of abusive relationships and now I am getting therapy and one day I'll let my therapist know I trust her, she is like a wonderful lady. But at times I like to annoy her. Only when she gets onto my nerves.

To be a child of God, it means that you have to let him into your heart, your soul, your every being to let him work his magic. Yes it's magic trust me. He touched my head, and I felt no pain for fifteen to twenty minutes at the mass.  Troy had someone bring me the Eucharist and I felt alive. It is a wonderful feeling to be touch by God and live to tell the tale.

If you are a Christian, Catholic or of another denomination go to your church, talk to your pastor or priest and get them to help you get a closer connection to God and Christ. Believe me you'll need it, God is waiting outside to be let in from the cold. He is just outside, open the door and let him in.

Please, It'll be the best thing you ever did. Believe in him, for he is the Savior of this world. You can not go forward in this life without him by your side. whether he is at your side, or carrying you while you find your way. trust me he is there, ask for him strength and help and love. He just needs you to call him by name.

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